Today’s post is a little different – neither book nor theatre based. I said I wanted to branch out and challenge myself, so here I am doing just that!
Colab Theatre Productions are currently running a 14-day lockdown challenge on their social media, where every day they will share a prompt, and it is up to you to interpret and use that prompt in whatever creative way you wish. If you want to find out more and join in, head to their social media. I assume this challenge was intended to motivate and aid theatre creatives as much as possible, but I decided to join in anyway; whilst what I create may not be theatre, I do still think I can only benefit from taking part, and that can only be a win!
For yesterday’s prompt, I incorporated it into a side writing project I am attempting to do. When I saw today’s prompt, instantly I thought of how I could write a blogpost about it. So, day 2 of the 14-day lockdown challenge, here we go. Whilst I live, I will (at least try to) live by 5 rules.
1. Never apologise for who I am.
This took me YEARS to come to terms with. And it is still a habit I am trying to break now. But, since moving to London, I really became my truest and most authentic self. I stopped trying to fit in, stopped trying to mould myself to what other people liked, stopped dimming myself down…I just thought: what am I doing this for? why? who? It’s pointless, and the more I fight myself, I’m never going to be really happy. So I wear what I want to wear, no matter how ‘out there’ some of my choices are. I remain as enthusiastic about the things I love as a child on Christmas day. I go and see as many shows as I so wish and as many times as I wish. I own my Turkish heritage instead of hiding it away. I continue to have very over-reactive tear ducts. And that’s okay. I am unashamedly me, and that is something I need to keep being, and stop apologising for.
Something my friend tells me often, and that I need to remember more is simple but true: people will talk about you no matter what you do. So just do what you want and that makes you happy anyway. It’s your life and your own happiness. So I need to stop living it for other people and trying to make them happy, and just focus on me. Since coming to terms with this and just remaining true to myself, it’s only made me so much happier. So this is a firm rule I live by and am hoping to never break again.
2. Be kind and choose love.
You’d think being kind is common sense and just something that goes without saying. I wish. This is quite simple and self explanatory, so I won’t linger on it for too long. But in a world that has a lot of hate and anger, I always want to try and counteract that (even if I am just one tiny person on a big planet) by trying to always be kind and choose love. That doesn’t mean I’ll let people walk all over me and I’ll become a doormat. Being kind and choosing love doesn’t mean being spineless; it means you just treat everyone in the best way you can. We are all different and unique, we all have different upbringings, this world is filled with diversity and different cultures – all of which is beautiful and should be celebrated. But despite all these differences, there is more that unites everyone, more that we all have in common, than what is different between us. So. I want to try share love and kindness wherever I can, however I can. The way I see it, is that love and kindness are free, and are two of the simplest and easiest things in the world. The world needs more of them, and we can all start just by being there for each other when we need it; especially right now, more than ever.
3. Don’t let fear stop me trying something
It’s ironic this is one of my rules as it’s something I’m still practicing…be this with my acting, writing my side project, writing on my blog or applying for new jobs outside of my comfort zone or that I think are ambitious. I am trying to just take the plunge and do it. Especially creatively, I can very quickly fall into the imposter syndrome trap, and I can very quickly convince myself that I am ‘not good enough’, ‘not creative enough’, ‘not qualified enough’ or just ‘not enough’ of anything to be able to create, in whatever way shape or form that may be. But I also hold the opinion that in a creative sense – yes a qualification helps, yes sometimes they’re needed, but also, if I have the passion and the ideas and the determination….what’s stopping me? And I can only improve my acting, writing, whatever by practicing and continuing to try. Logically, what is the worst thing that can happen? It doesn’t work out, and sometimes that’s just life and that happens. But at least then I know and I have tried. Best case scenario is it goes really well and I surprise myself. But I don’t know if I don’t try. So I’m trying to live by this rule; to push myself, to push through fear, doubt, my inner critic, the opinions of others, all of that: and just do it. Just try.
4. You don’t have to pretend to be okay all of the time
I don’t really know how much clearer I can make this to myself…and yet despite it being a rule I try and live by and despite me being quite open regarding my mental health…I’m still not the best person at admitting I am struggling. Instead I just hide it, pretend all is fine and battle on. But we are all only human. No one is happy and/or okay all the time. We wouldn’t be human if we were. And a part of this is knowing my own limits. If I am feeling burnt out, if I am feeling mentally, emotionally and/or physically drained, that is okay. Take time for me. Don’t push myself because that will only make it worse. Talk to my loved ones – I preach to the people I love that I don’t want them struggling or suffering alone and I’d much rather they chatted to me than sitting in silence…so I need to remember that applies to me too. We all have stuff going on in our lives, let alone the pandemic throwing our normal equilibrium up into the air. The truth is that no one is okay and happy all of the time, despite what social media convinces us…so I don’t need to bury my own feelings and mental health and pretend to be okay all of the time either. Not being okay is not a weakness. It is a sign that I am human.
5. Never stop learning
And the final rule I always have and always will hope to continue to live by. Never stop learning. About history, about our planet, about what’s going on in the world, about lives different to mine, about how I can make a difference no matter how small, and about myself. There is no way everyone can know everything about everything. In a world where we now are very lucky to have so many different ways to learn – from books, the internet, each other, there’s always a chance to learn something new.
For an example, I’ve had a lot more time to read since finishing university, so I’m broadening the books I read and reading a much more diverse range of books covering race, LGBT, disabilities, a combination of both fiction and non-fiction to educate myself. More recently, with so much coronavirus coverage on the news, other issues going on in the world have gotten a bit lost. Social media has actually been quite a useful tool for making me aware of these issues, which then leads me to do even more learning of my own. When I go to work, despite being a qualified nurse, it never stops me looking things up if I get a chance, asking my colleagues questions, always learning so I can always expand on the knowledge I already have, so I can always learn more and do better. Again – nursing is so broad, there’s no way I could possibly know everything, especially when I’m so newly qualified! And when it comes to learning about myself…I am always trying to learn, educate myself, so I can always try and be better than I was yesterday. This pandemic has been one long nightmare, but it’s definitely helped me learn more about myself. Of course, I am bound to make mistakes. I have before and no doubt I will again – we all do, as we are all only human as I said before. But it’s how we act on our mistakes that is important; the lessons we learn from them, and what we do with what we’ve learnt, how we change ourselves to improve from them: that’s what really matters.
And that brings me to the end! Whilst I live, I will live by these five rules. However, like I said at the start, these are the five rules I am trying to live by. I know I’m not perfect, but I am trying nonetheless – and hey – trying is better than not trying at all.
I found this a really interesting post to write, and I am really thankful to Colab Theatre Productions for their prompt today for inspiring it. I’m now really intrigued, and looking forward to the rest of the challenge prompts and seeing what they lead to.
If you want to check out Colab Theatre’s social media for this challenge, or to get involved, their handles are below.
Colab Theatre twitter: https://twitter.com/CoLab_Theatre
Colab Thetre instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colabtheatre/
One Show at a Time 